Project

I am working with the Iraqi Student Project, which helps refugee and utterly destitute Iraqi youth find higher education in the U.S. We are trying our best to raise consciousness about the plight of refugees, working to build bridges of peace, and helping to educate young Iraqis who will be part of the rebuilding of their homeland. We are really pleased to have Clark offer a tuition waiver for one of our students. But we also need identify people in the area around the university who would be passionate and committed to giving support to the student during the four years he/she is studying. Part of that support is financial, for which we are working on fundraising and sponsorship. But the support group is also responsible for the physical, social, and emotional needs of the student. Some of these young people will be entering college for the first time. Others will have begun college but could not continue because of the hardships in Iraq (or as refugees in Syria or Jordan). Most of the students will have been away from school for a year or more. All of them will be coming from years of war and occupation and violence. Most of the students will have been refugees in Jordan or Syria. They will be good students and they will be skilled in English, but still the transition will be difficult. The support group is people bringing all the care they can to nurture each student. They are there to be friends, to recognize what's needed and help out. It may be as simple as learning to get around town or showing how to get through a northern U.S. winter. But sometimes it will be difficult. Some household in the support group will offer a home for the student (If it is a guy, I'm having him live in my apartment). The support group will be there to greet the student upon arrival, to introduce the student to the admissions people at the school, to introduce the student to how the local community works and where things are, to talk about how things work and how needs are met, to have connections ready so the student can use whatever help the school provides for international students, to know about orientation sessions and (if needed) what help the school has for students with ESL (English as a second language). The support group will invite the student over for dinner in their homes, and will be helping the student stay in touch with the family in Iraq and also in Syria or Jordan. As relationships develop and deepen, the support group will provide a sense of family for the student, include them in outings to interesting places in the area, celebrate holidays and connect them with a religious community if desired, cook together, converse as well as listen. I am writing this and asking you to do what you can. If you need more info, go to iraqistudentproject.org. Meanwhile, I am meeting with some people who have begun forming the support group Wednesday the 28th (Jan.) at noon at Stone Soup (4 King St.), which is right next to Clark. I really would like some of you to come with me, if you will be committed to helping out. If you can't or don't want to come, but still want to do something for us, have some contacts, expertise on fundraising, or anything that might be useful, please contact me.

Article Renewed

Operation Cast Lead came into being as the Israeli solution to Hamas rocket fire from the Gaza Strip, and aimed for the complete neutralization of Hamas as a military threat to the people of South Israel. And though operations are currently at a halt, the peace is precarious at best, and the operation can be considered on hold, rather than over. As an intellectual bred with both Arab and American ideals, a Lebanese national yet a friend to Jews, and as a human being, I did not know what to think for a long while. I have come to find that I cannot tolerate either side.

Having lived most of my life in the Middle East, I know some things about conflict zones. I know what it is to have to abandon your sense of control and pride, to leave your family, home, and country. I know what it is to fear rockets and bombs flying down around your head, to be in a country where suicide bombers, car bombs, and fundamentalist militants can threaten at any moment, anywhere. But I also know what it is to be under siege, to run short of provisions, to have all routes of escape and all hope stripped from you, while you watch Goliath crush the innocent and guilty alike as he takes your land, your security, and your dignity, for something you didn't do. And I am telling you, both situations boil down to one and the same. They create fear, hatred, anger, despair, and awareness of your mortality and of those you love. They crush your soul and leave you ashamed to call yourself human.

I say all of this to show you that I understand just a little bit of how the civilian on each side might feel, and why they might be motivated to support aggression against the other. But at the same time, I say it because I want to show that the same root needs and emotions are in play with both sides. Each side justifies its own transgressions by pointing to the other's, and counting losses for and against, when in fact both are condemnable. They are more than condemnable - they are based on morally bankrupt reasoning in governance, and on a severe lack of empathy between the Israeli and Palestinian peoples, who ironically probably have more in common than any two races on Earth, so powerful their shared experiences and environment.

I hear and read comments on both sides of the conflict, trading on each others' atrocities as if they validated their champions' actions. This lack of empathy and threatening moral comparison has been shown in conflict psychology research to be at the foundation of hatred and prejudice, the beginning and the impetus of any conflict. So shame on all of us hypocrites who engage in such insensitive and ignorant behavior and thought, while proclaiming in despicable political correctness our desire for justice and peace. If that is really what we are interested in, we cannot declare one wrong and the other right, or get into futile and ignorant brawls over who is 'wronger'. Either violence against civilians is wrong and abhorrent in every and any circumstance, in offense or defense, or it is not. Make up your mind. Because until people stop treating such violence relativistically, it will continue, not just in this crisis, but globally and in every conflict.

But pity and sorrow are not enough. I agree with Adi Dvir, who in his opinion article in Yedioth Ahronoth on Jan. 4^th, bade his readers to drop their pity for the Palestinians. It is, as he says, condescending and patronizing, implying that the Palestinians somehow have no control whatsoever over their destinies. He laid the responsibility at the feet of the people of Gaza, who had and still have the chance to renounce Hamas and all other terrorist organizations, and collapse them from within, averting the need for the war that is upon them. I believe that that is an important point, but I also think that in his hurry to dispel our sympathies for the Palestinians, Mr. Dvir forgot to apply his own reasoning to the Israeli nation.

One could argue that pity is due Israel, because despite its efforts to take control of its destiny, carving out its peace with the sword, many innocent still suffer. But that is reactive action, and not preventive, and to pity the Israelis would also be to patronize them. For they themselves are responsible for electing and tolerating governments that do nothing to make them more secure in the long term, that aggravate and encourage militancy by defeating any negotiation attempts, and that continue attacks against civilians, polarizing the Israeli and Palestinian populations. The Israelis and the international community as a whole have recognized for years the paradigm by which the entire Arab-Israeli conflict can be resolved. But as Kevin Peraino (Newsweek; Jan 12, 2009) points out, at every step towards realizing it, negotiations have stalled because of the unwillingness of Israeli politicians to make any compromise, fearing to look weak, under pressure to remain hawkish by their constituents. The people of Israel, like the Palestinians, have had the choice and the responsibility of beginning the building of a lasting peace since before Hamas ever rose to power.

So, both the Palestinians and the Israelis do indeed deserve better than our pity. They deserve our recognition of their responsibilities in the tragic occurrences of today. They deserve the accountability which should go with it. And they deserve the opportunity and the circumstances, given by all those who have their best interests at heart, to take that responsibility and enact the changes required to achieve a true and lasting peace between them.

Whether by their will or no, the fates of Israel and Palestine are irrevocably tied, and aggression against civilians on either side is detrimental to both. Palestinians must be made to feel that militants endanger them, not fight harder for them than do their politicians. And Israelis must be made to realize that in allowing their governments to make concessions diplomatically, they actually gain the most valuable weapon; depriving the terrorist of purpose. A truly serious diplomatic process is the only way to safeguard the security and prosperity of Israel in the long term, and the only way to secure Palestinian statehood, sovereignty, and rights. But in the meantime, while that process is undertaken, the basic human rights of civilians must be respected, and the conventions of war must be observed.

The United States will play a huge role in determining whether the necessary circumstances will be available to put the conflict back on the diplomatic track, and to ensure that civilians are protected. Let us, as responsible citizens, also play our roles, so that we may never have to be the object of others' pity, when time comes that the consequences of our choices overseas come spilling back to our shores. Let those in power know if you want this country to play a stronger and more active role in enforcing peace under the two-nation paradigm, if you want a solution that will get the conflict over with already, not just for now, but for the long-term. And if you want an end to civilian casualties everywhere, make them do something about it. Because there is nothing beyond the scope of influence of the U.S., if it acts in a fair, objective, and strong manner, and it is you the American people who ultimately hold the key to that strength.

A Good Day

A good day is like this day. This day I have heard the tones of heartstrings, a music I had not heard in too long a time. And for that, I thank those who played, and the Muse that gave them inspiration, and gave me awareness.

New Day

Again Tired...

Have you ever felt spread thin, like butter over too much bread, like the last breaths of consumption, like the straining line about to snap? Have you felt trapped in solidity and bounded by mortality, a prisoner of space and time? Have you ever wished you could just multiply yourself, make room for everything and nothing, and be all-encompassing and unbound? Or wished that time was revealed for the impostor that he should be, and nothing was incomplete, nothing was imperfect, nothing was undone? Have you ever prayed that you could rise beyond the singular perception and the serial thought, and transcend humanity? Have you wanted to know the taste of the sun, and the smell of the everlasting dream? Have you imagined consciousness blooming outwards, a lily of light and being, free and infinite? Have you seen your mind enclosing the world and living it, like the waters of the earth? Have you ever needed to recognize the underlying energy of all existence, and perceive it as one whole? To soar as the falcon from the dune, find the desert, and yet perceive every grain of sand that enjoins it? Have you ever wanted all the tones unheard, all the colors unseen, all the sensations and realities, all the lives and histories, all the circumstances and possibilities, the futures that you may never have? And then have you wondered where that want came from, and what it was, and wanted to not want? I feel shackled and inadequate. Yet I revel in that awareness, which pursues the reality and truth of the torture of my ignorance. What does that make of me? What does that make of you?

I cannot begin to express the inadequacy of these words, poor reflections in broken streams of stagnation, of thoughts themselves a haunting of a higher echo poignant and incomprehensible.

And no wonder I am tired.

Morality and Desire

It is 5am, and I'm tired. But happy. Both those things are rarely conducive to good writing for me, but I hope you will bear with me. Anyway, I had my first morality and culture class today, and it looks to be an interesting class. And it started me thinking about my own moral framework. For years I'd figured the Golden Rule was good enough. Recently, I've come to feel that the absolute morality is that which is based entirely on the destruction of the concept of self and of our servitude to it. Of course, there is no complete abandonment of self. But one can aspire to that ideal, I believe, in one's relationships with others. I've thought that for a while, but it is only until very recently that I've truly been able to practice it. That is because I found that I was still allowing desire to control my thought and emotion, my perceptions and behavior. And desire is inherently self-centered. It seems, in fact, to be a completely instinctive and animalistic concept. And furthermore, it seems to serve no purpose, besides create anxiety and discontent. My mind is drifting... I'll have to come back to this later. But I will quote Carly on this: "Morality is just a weird by-product of humanity". I have to say that I agree. Because any definition of humanity requires desire, awareness of desire, and meta-awareness. And if, as I believe, humanity as we know it holds those as its cornerstones, then humanity in an individual dictates an inherent self-centeredness, and in the group requires higher levels of centrism such as anthropocentrism. Humanity therefore requires codes and frameworks of morality that ensure that self-interest is served while order on the higher levels is maintained. Without humanity as such, morality would indeed be unnecessary. Not that I'm saying humanity must be abandoned. On the contrary, I am saying it should be strengthened, redefined, and re-invented. That's it I'm done for now. I'll just put up a song for you guys, and then it's good night. Peace.

Diner by Martin Sexton, and Everything by Lifehouse

Thanks to Mairead and Jesse for each of these fantastic discoveries.

Thanks are also in order to Sam, who showed me how to set up the followers app. No further meaningful discussion in this post tonight. I think you'll find the previous post quite sufficient as far as serious material goes, at least for a while.

Old Sentiments Renewed

Random associations carried me to reading old emails, and I found this strange little paragraph in one in 2007 to Alec. I feel it is appropriate here, if one can ever feel that fanatic fondness of fictional accents can be appropriate. And if you have not read the Dark Tower epic by Stephen King, you must. It's not a horror story, it's a Western fantasy. Kind of. Like Firefly with magic instead of space. If you don't know what Firefly is, you need to fix that right away. It was only 11 episodes. Trust me, it's worth your time. Anyway:

May your days be long upon the earth! I hope thou art well, and that I may hear from thee, if it be thy will. In truth, sai, all I hope to say through this our correspondence is that I look forward indeed to these days to come, where we shall be an-tet, together in ka-tet. Wily ka has thrown us together, and for that I say thankee. May our paths together remain straight and true.

Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out...

...When you get back on your feet again, everybody wants to be your long-lost friend... I said it's strange, without any doubt...

This song expresses my feelings about so many people that I know, and it's sad, because those people have no idea what real friendship is, and they're missing out. But this is also a happy song, because unlike poor Eric Clapton, I have people that bless my otherwise purposeless life, and it is great to remember that.

We're Back!

If you haven't read the Bhagavad-Gita, read it now. I read it again over break, and it was even better than the first time. I will probably mention it repeatedly here, but for now let me just say how amazing it is that this millenia-old piece can still be striking and powerful to the modern reader. It is more relevant, incisive, and applicable to my life than almost any other book I've read. But read it discerningly; some stuff is obviously outdated and meaningless outside the context of ancient India, such as caste and cosmology. And read the war in the book as an internal struggle. Aldous Huxley (Brave New World is another great book) wrote an excellent foreword to the book, if you can find it.

I honestly believe I have the faintest touch of precognition. It's not like I know if something's going to happen, or when, or how... I just get feelings, and they generally tend to be right. This may just be great subconscious rational analysis, and not ESP at all, but whatever it is, it's useful, and a little weird. At or just before the beginning of every semester I've been at college, I've gotten a sense of what the semester was going to be like. I told my roommate, Jesse, in the summer of 06, that I felt that the fall was going to be horrible, even though there was nothing at the time to indicate that. And it was. And just before the spring of 08 I knew I was going to have a good semester, even though fall was horrible and there was no reason to expect any better for the spring. And it was better. There are many examples, but regardless of what these feelings are, whether they're accurate or even real, today I am happy, because I have a strong sense that this my last semester will be a great one. If it is, then it'll probably be all your fault.

It was so great seeing my friends from abroad last night and today. You don't realize how much you've really missed someone until you see them and talk to them again. Alec, Lauren, you've made my week, so thank you! I can't wait to see everyone else I haven't seen in so long. Let me just say, thank God for visa expiration, mish heik?

My first hurdle this semester: TSA at Dulles International Airport. They held me for over 30 minutes, searched me and my bags 3 times over... Do they expect to catch me with all those magic grenade launchers in my jacket after the first time? Anyway, they made me get to my flight only 12 minutes before departure. Usually, this is not a problem, as check-in only closes at 10 minutes before. But when I got there there was no one, and the plane was taxiing. I asked this lady who works at the airport... Know what she said? She said that I was the only person not on the plane, and when the pilot looked for my name to call on the announcement system, he figured it was a problem with TSA that was keeping me, didn't bother, and left, because he figured I probably wouldn't get out of there for at least another hour!
Three cheers for prejudice!

I made it here, thankfully, intact. Then came the attack of the ravenous mice! I've caught 2 already, but it's like they have a clone factory somewhere behind the walls. Maybe I should get a pet owl. Name it Hedwig. I hear they're good luck.

Coming Home

I found this song while I was looking for music to share with my father. Besides the obvious personal connection I feel with the subject, I also admire Legend's sophisticated vocals, and the elegant interdependency between it and the melody and the beat. Now this is R&B with class.

New Beginnings Meet Old Ends

Tonight I begin this record of my mind's wanderings in this world. The previous two posts are relics of a different age, but are meaningful to me still. Chronological order has no place here, as it has no place in my thought. My musing is constantly adrift between past, present, and future, and each is just as likely to be relevant at any time. My style of association may be odd, or even disconcerting, and if you are here reading this, I am inclined to feel sorry for you. But I also hope that my experience of this world, its people, and their works, tells you something about me, maybe teaches you something, leads you to find something interesting, or just plain amuses you. Thank you Becky, for this idea.

Cheers!
Fouad

Holy Night

In memory of a special Leilet el Kadr with my family at the mzar.

Holy night upon me, laid its light upon me,

and blesse’d grace around me, was in every face, in joy.

Every heart tore apart its poisons

in sweet peace, that soft fleece of seasons,

in dreams of love and light.

Children slept, and star-struck

soared in dream-flight, their wings unfurled.

Miracles of the ether, glad they wept

from wisdom of the world, and wonder.

Grownups played, jumped and yelled

as youth welled up inside them.

It made away with the worry

away with the hurry, away with the shadows

of the day.

Gone were the dark tomorrows,

Gone was death, gone was decay.

Back the white lightness came

and life again the sweetest game.

Reverent I went

amidst them, astruck.

Up the roads I went, those bright lodes

of magic unstruck, to the place of grace,

of holiness, of God.

Small and simple it was,

poor, humble and grey.

But where it lay

there the wood and the stone

warming shone.

When I entered, power unhindered

swept my pride aside. It towered

high above and yet was deep inside.

It made the air sing praise so fair

to all of Creation and to her Creator.

So, awed, I lay down and prayed

until my self cried and swayed,

exulted and strayed

out of thought and out of time.

Here I stand on this sacred land

beside the cold hand of him for whom

your gates are wide. By this Hermes’ tomb,

Lord, the way, the way is shut for me,

show me day!

A prayer I sent, and heartfelt it went

up with a hundred more. In answer I heard

all in my heart, heard the idylls part

the lips of strangers, my sisters and brothers.

A repentant prayed for the forgiveness of God,

the forgiveness of Man, and God’s forgiveness of Man.

A student prayed for success, for no less

than to do well and to do good, to understand

and to be understood.

A mother prayed for divine strength,

to lead a soul on the right path

to achieve her goal in patience and in joy.

But a child in the corner said the prayer

most true: “I love you God, you are the best.

You keep my family, please keep them well.

Thank you God, for I love them well.”

These prayers came together, welded and melded

my soul together, my soul to them all.

I heard the call

to love, and to learn,

that true joy

is the joy of us all.

And hearing these strangers’ songs

made me think of all the places I had never seen

and seen beauty there, and never been.

It made me think of the song that loving hangs

amidst skies unknown, to the gentle tangs

of mountains and of seas, to the sweet strangeness

of the breeze.

It made me think of the ode that written soars

through all the doors

I’ve never knocked on, to so familiar minds,

upon their kind hearts to lie.

It made me think of the carnivals of joy I feel

for every bright joy that is not mine,

the joy of every smile or laugh

that from the heart does shine.

It made me think of the soft music of dreams

that sounds in my mind.

My only dream now, is that music to find

unfolding in the world around...

Carrying candles and our heavy mantles,

we all went out from there. We stood and looked above

at the billion twinkling lights. We lit our candles and

raised them to the stars on high.

Together we set them down, and left with a sigh.

We left but did not leave, for our candles did weep

hot tears for us, and did breathe

their sacred breath to the untainted sky.

And there they did weave

our finest prayer; a prayer too deep,

a crown too high, to be wreathed by human words.

For every second I spent there, not one second

but was a lifetime of truths. And my visit was all of history,

and all my memory could well be lies.

But holy night, your memory burns in me!

My sight fails in your light, and yet farther I see.

And so the holy night that was upon me

still lays its light upon me,

though the sad earth is still the sad earth

and hearts hold poison, no peace in the season

life is a burden, and love is a pain

and though death and decay still reign.

Fouad Bouzeineddine

December 27, 2004

Thoughts on the Atrophy of Mind and Time

You would measure time the measureless and the immeasurable.
You would adjust your conduct and even direct the course of your spirit according to hours and seasons...

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance...

Gibran Khalil Gibran

And they expect us to live happily in a world where time is everything, when all you are and all you can be is measured by your minutes, your days, your years... They pass, and fade into the dark recesses of forgetfulness and regret. They pass in a clamor and a flash, a climb to the peak and no more, in exhaustion, pain, regret, mistrust, and fear of the beyond. We live in the prison of productive efficiency. All the world around us, and we see nothing. We have become a twitchy twittering race, suspicious of even ourselves. Crude and uncultured, a base and demeaning aberration is our race, reason is rust and corruption, and spirit is consigned to the abyss of myth. Love is hateful, and hatred beloved of the masses. Freedom is dictated and dictators are free. Peace is archaic, a construct long demolished, in mind, in life, in every sense. We scramble to do the things we need to do, insignificant and laughably pretentious. And all the pain in the world means nothing, because we cannot feel it, and all the beauty of life means nothing, because we're too busy to see it. This cruelty is unbounded and unrelenting. And though you may not feel it, that is only because you have decided it means nothing. But it means more than anything we can ever be or do or know or feel.

What are we doing then?

March 30, 2007